just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
