I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Someone came in the potted fern
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
