i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
