The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
