All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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