im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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