Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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