Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
