I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
