Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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