I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize