if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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