The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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