Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
