the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize