Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
