I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
