How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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