By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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