just come out here and I will go home with you...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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