Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
