Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
