love makes seman taste better
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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