so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
