so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
