I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
