My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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