I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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