But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Houston, we have a blender
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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