you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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