Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
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He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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