I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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