drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
