i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
