He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
