If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
