Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
