you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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