Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
