I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My life is pants optional.
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