fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
