Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
