Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
