We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
