I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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