Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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