I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Randomize
