I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
