so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize