I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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