Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
