I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
