so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
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He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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