suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's rum buckets o'clock
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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