He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
