I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
