she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
