he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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