whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
