i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
