I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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