i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
