I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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