Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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