I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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