Umm I'm too high to move.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
