I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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