You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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