There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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