At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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